She'll let you in her house

If you come knockin' late at night

She'll let you in her mouth

If the words you say are right

If you pay the price

She'll let you deep inside

But there's a secret garden she hides

She'll let you in her car

To go drivin' round

She'll let you into the parts of herself

That'll bring you down

She'll let you in her heart

If you got a hammer and a vice

But into her secret garden, don't think twice

you've gone a million miles

How far'd you get

To that place where you can't remember

And you can't forget

She'll lead you down a path

There'll be tenderness in the air

She'll let you come just far enough

So you know she's really there

She'll look at you and smile

And her eyes will say

She's got a secret garden

Where everything you want

Where everything you need

Will always stay

A million miles away

                               -secret garden bruce springsteen

And I'd give up forever to touch you

Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

Cause sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me

Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me

Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me

Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me

Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

              -iris goo goo dolls

i have ALWAYS had issues trusting guys, b/c for as long as i can remember, their backs

were the only thing i ever saw.  until i was in 2nd grade and my mom remarried and he

has been the one of two guys i have ever really opened up to.  i tried to let myself go and

trust somebody about 3months ago but yea he ended up walking away too... anyway the

ONLY other guy i have completely opened up to is my best friend (since efffing 3rd

grade) and he straight up lied to my face like twenty times tonite. so u can forget what i

say about my best friend not getting high in the next entry b/c apparently he did... idk  

just sit back and watch me crash and burn

bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same

no kisses rite now just a simple good bye

moi

umm well im sitting downstairs rite now...danny is sitting on my couch upstairs, stephen

(walters) and michelle r cuddling on the other couch... and well zac just threw up

n now he is passed out... i thought my best friend was high tonite so i was kinda pissed

for a while but he wasnt so its ok.  i think amanda might be pissed at me and i really dont

no y im really missing somebody rite now n there is nuthin i can do about it b/c im

pretty sure

he thinks i dont like him nemore but yea hes wrong.  altho it should be easier to

get over him then it is since we never talk, but thats the weird part we went from "talking"

to not say a damn word ever  i dont even no nemore... everything is so effed up! 

Jordan ur amazing u make my worst days so much better b/c u make me laugh so thank u

for everything! (hi my name is jordan and i like to eat cheese!)

well thats all i got for now

kisses muah

moi 

jordan had really pretty "stylo-homme-ship"...and he put his hood up n he looked like

rocky...and he called me a stupid shmeen head....reason #'s 56789,56790, and 56791 y

he is my new favorite  haha luv ya nadroj have a shmeeno day sorry i have no swen xela

for u

confused dont really feel like explaining y...sorry badmood

<3 me